Friday night was a mess. To put it lightly.
George and I never, I mean NEVER get a night to ourselves. We should do it more often, but I am assuming like most parents in the world. We just don’t get around to it, like we should.
So, I was thrilled that we finally had a date night. My mother’s day present. I wanted one night, to get a bite to eat and go to a movie. To talk about something grown-up and maybe for a few hours, not have to change a diaper or wash a bottle. A little slice of heaven.
Hazel said she would watch them for a hour and then our mother-in-law would pick up after that. The boys didn’t go down until we were almost done with Iron Man 2. Which would have made it 10:30. We got home, ate our mexican take-out and then headed off to bed as well. I was suprised when I heard Georgie whining around 1:00 am. He was soaking wet. <insert pissed off expression here> And I mean SOAKING-down to the blanket and ring out his night shirt WET. So, I changed him and of course this turned into a bigger mess than it should have. He started screaming and crying and did this, no joke, for 2 hours. From 1-3 in the morning, George and I were trying to figure out what this child wanted. Out of shear frustration, I put him in his crib to let him cry/work it out. He cried and screamed and then before I knew it, he was busting through our door. He had climbed out. No bumps or bruises. He just got the will and climbed right out. And granted, his crib is THE cadillac of all cribs. It’s huge and built well from Canadian Pine. No match for my son.
The only thing that finally saved us, was watching Yo Gabba Gabba at volume level ONE, until he finally turned over and snuggled next to George. And of course during this, Vinnie had a feeding, also woke up soaking wet. <insert another pissed off expression and no comment as well>
So our “Date Night”, very quickly brought us back to reality and was very short-lived.
The next day followed with a morning of both of them being fussy and Georgie whining/screaming/crying/pulling tantrums/climbing out of his crib/stroller again all.damned.day.
The only thing that saved me was three beers and getting some fresh air and sunshine and letting him swim in the pool.
There is no rhyme or reason to my Georgie. It’s like a puzzle that you think you have almost solved and then you notice you are missing a piece. Just when I think I have him figured out, he throws a twig in the wheel.
After he had crawled out of his crib for the second time yesterday, all I could do was sit there with him in my lap and cry. Motherhood is SO exhausting to me sometimes. I am at a crossroads and I don’t know what direction to head in with him. So, I let it out. I haven’t cried like that in a long time. It gave me a HUGE migraine this morning, but it helped. I needed to let all that “failure” and frustration, I was feeling, OUT!
I told George that I felt like a failure. I can’t figure out my Georgie. Taking care of my newborn should be harder than this, but it’s the complete opposite. Georgie is giving me a harder time than Vinnie.
I know that I am not a failure. I am trying to tell myself this. But yesterday, it got to me. In ways that I could never describe. I felt completely inadequate.
So, today is another day. Another journey in the life of toddlerhood.
Another adventure.
